The Epitome of Vanity

We are putting up Halloween decorations. Amber's Dada is hanging a door cover, and the chair he's standing on is a bit wobbly.

Amber: Dada, why is the chair wiggling?

Dada: It's a bit rickety, but it works. Nobody's perfect.

Amber: I'm perfect!

Dada: No your not. Only Jesus is perfect.

Amber: But I am perfect!

Dada: No, Amber. Only Jesus can be perfect.

Amber: Well...I'm prettier than God!

Not a Leo...

Me: She is a leo. Leos are known to be headstrong.

Amber: I'm not a leo.

Me: Yes you are!

Amber: No I'm not. I'm a Pop Tart.

Notable quotes of Amber's third year:

Context: One of Amber's favorite activities is pretending to read children's books to us. What she actually is doing is free-associating, creating a verbal mish-mash of sentences from words she's recently learned, words she already knows, and when she's out of vocabulary, words that don't really exist. Tonight, the book is a book about Jesus.

"...And Jesus was smoking the mohawk bird."

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Context: I'm Amber's step-mom, and she and I were trying (unsuccessfully) to come up with a nickname for me.

Me: "How about Mamo?"

Amber: "No. How about Bee?"

Me: "No, that's silly."

A thoughtful pause.

Amber: "How about dsflnvoghwoigobhoisghoi?"

Me: "No, silly! That's not even a word."

Amber: "Yes it is. It's French."

--

Context: The three of us are at the pool. Amber's dada is self-conscious about how he looks in swim trunks.

Dada: "I'm big and fat."

Me: "No you aren't honey. You are handsome."

Amber: "No he's not! He's big and fat!"

Me: "Why do you say that?"

Amber: "Well, just look at how he is! He's big and fat!"